Why am I a Kaospilot student?

It´s good to ask yourself this question from time to time. Probably every time the answer will be different, because the more time passes by, the more you have a clue about what you got yourself into...
When I started, I had this bubble in my head of what I was going to find at the Kaospilots. I would find out what I want to do in life, I would develop my body and my soul, I would be part of a new family. All these hopes and dreams that I could not formulate at that point of time.
Then came the troubles and the catching up with reality, all the fluffy dreams took a bit more shape. Was this place really the right place for these goals? Did my fellow students share them? Was it necessary that we had the same learning goals? What were my learning goals anyways?
Gradually words arrived, they fit much better into the bigger picture.
I still am here for the same reasons and I actually do make progress in all of them. And much more. Much more, that I don´t understand yet and that I don´t have words for yet. It´s like eating strawberries, you don´t know what they taste like before you´ve eaten them. And even then you don´t know everything about them, only the little part you´ve tried so far.